Mothering

My little boy is all grown up and getting married.  He will soon be launched into the world participating in the daily work of adulting.  He and his lovely finacee are buying a condo together, working on budgets, shopping for car insurance and all the other mundane tasks of being a full fledged adult.  I am so happy for him.  He is filled with joy when he looks at his bride.  And she is so full of peace and love when she looks back.  It is sweet.  Really sweet.

Soon they will be wed and off they will go and I will be done with the whole mother thing.

Or will I?

That it what I thought when he left for a two year mission.... and it was devastating.  I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was done.  I thought and thought and prayed and FINALLY I figured it out.  I am a daughter of God.  That makes me eternal.  My role in the eternal scheme of things is to nurture, foster, care for, or in other words "mother".  Mothering is an eternal role, so how can you ever be done with it?

But then my daughter doesn't need much mothering.  She needs grandmothering of the two little boys, and a shopping partner but not really actual mothering.  My son doesn't need much mothering. He needs care packages and a staunch supporter but mothering a boy too long just gets into the realm of weird smothering jewish mother kind of thing.  So if my own children don't need me .... who am I supposed to mother?

Turns out, there is a whole host of people who need a bonus mom.  An extra mom to step in with love and support on a part time basis. I am not talking about foster children- which I think is extraordinarily Christlike and amazing,  I am talking about mostly young adults learning to become adults in a world of harsh reality.  I know have several "bonus children".  I love them all.

David, the first bonus child, actually came to live with us when he had no where else to go.  He needed a home so he could finish high school.  He needed shelter, food, and someone to nag the crap out of him to do his homework so he could finish high school.  He is now in the National Guard, working full time, and being a productive member of society.  He calls me Mom.  I love that boy.

Jaime is broken.  I know she has had deep horrors in her past that have irreparably scarred her.  She hasn't told me details and I didn't really want to know. She just needed someone to hug her, tell her she's fine, she can make it, she can do it.  Jaime has worked so hard to become an adult, she has gone to school and will be an RN in a few months. On occasion she has asked for me to pray for her.  I do. She calls me mama.  I love that child.

Jade is cynical and playful and childlike all at the same time.  She just needed to know someone has her back.  That someone is making sure she has food and not just eating ramen for weeks on end. She is going to school and has big plans for her life.  She calls me her Bonus Mom and even brought me a mug to prove it.  I love that girl.

Kylie is a young single mother of two small kids trying to reassemble a broken life.  She just needs someone to talk to about God and eternity.  She needs encouragement and cheering.  Someone to laugh at cute pictures of her children, to praise her mothering skills.  That child is going places.  She will be all right.  She calls me bonus mom.  I love that young woman.

and the list goes on.

I have some "kids" who just need a hug.  Some just need someone to take an interest in their life. Some need a joke.  Some need someone to vent to.  Rarely do they need or want advice.  Mostly I just listen.

Turns out there is a lot of mothering that is needed out there.  So far none of it has taken a great deal of time or effort.  Usually just a moment of caring here and there. But it has brought me great joy. An incredible amount of joy.  It's added a whole new layer of sweetness in my life.  

Is there someone you know that needs a few minutes of your time just listening?  Is there someone out there in your life needing encouragement that you can give?  Look around.  It is the best.  It is our divine role.  Mothering is eternal.